The Result of Two Months

I love to laugh. It doesn't take much for me to be doubled-over-hand over my mouth-tears pouring down my face-laughing. A lot of the reason I write this blog...is to laugh. At me, with me. To capture those memories in the hysterical way possible.

But, while I love to laugh. I also love to give credit where credit is due. In this case, I need to give God some praise. While I may not talk about my relationship with God a lot, that doesn't mean it isn't important. On the contrary! God tends to teach me things in incredible ways...and I'd like to brag on His goodness.

As you all know, my days of unemployment spanned over 7-8 weeks. Basically, two months of living off Ben's income. While Ben is a very hard worker, he is also in school. So, he only works part-time. Do you get an idea of our situation? Two people, one income (part-time) and an entire host of bills. Seems impossible, right? Believe me, Ben and I both had panic moments.(Thankfully, NOT at the same time!!)

Over a time span of TWO months of my search for a job, the bills continued to come (isn't it incredible, that bills are SOOOO consistent?!?!). And over those two months, we didn't miss a payment. At all. Literally, God provided in amazing ways. Every single time we would see the end of the tunnel, we'd have the same conversation. For example, "If Bethany doesn't get a job by this point, we aren't sure what will happen". Those are scary conversations to have when you literally don't know how you will buy groceries or pay rent. But God just stepped in. Our tax return - which was delayed for over 6 weeks (prior to losing my job) - came the first month of unemployment. Then, over the total of the 2 months, God just continued to provide - with anonymous, large, monetary gifts. Whoever sent these gifts were also sensitive to our young marriage (remember, we haven't been married over 6 months yet) ....allowing us go on dates and spend time with just the two of us, without worrying about how we will pay for the next pending bill.

Ben and I both feel like we can't take credit for the last two months. How can we? What happened during this season was beyond our control - in every single regard. But we definitely CAN give God glory for providing for us in amazing and timely ways. It isn't about what we DID to change our situation - it certainly isn't glamorous to be on your knees;  feeling the tension and pressure of the unknown well up inside of you; looking at your spouse and wondering: What next?  We simply did the only thing we knew to do - place our trust in God. Ask Him to take care of us in ways that we couldn't. Depend on Him to provide. This seems so seamless, right? It was scary! I'm a control freak. Ben is a control freak. We like to be in control of our situation! (Who doesn't?!?!) How can I taken even a smidgen of credit? I mean, given a choice - I definitely would have kept my job. It was comfortable. I didn't have to worry about anything. But the worse thing of it all - I didn't have to rely on God either. Which, is an even more dangerous spot to be.

So every time there was an "extra" bill to pay (tires for the car, a second vehicle, etc., etc.), we saw our faith and trust in God increase. And every time there was just a regular bill to pay, we saw our faith increase too. Instead of the original response when this all first occurred ("WHAT DO WE DO NOW?!?!?"), our responses literally evolved as our faith, trust and dependence in God grew ("God will provide.").

Believe me, when its all said and done saying God will provide. Is a ton more comforting than WHAT DO WE DO?!?!?!? Why? Because He does, has and will continue to provide.

First Day on the Job

Today, I started a new job. YES! Please celebrate, jump up and down, scream and holla, send me gifts...or all of the above. Pleaseandthankyou. However, for today's blog, I really want to focus on yesterday. I'm sure you are confused by this, I mean, shouldn't I WANT to talk about my first day on the job?? Nah. Not yet at least.

Hang in there.
 
Yesterday, ended 7 weeks of so, sooo much. The end of my marathon watching of Real Housewives of the Orange County, Real Housewives of New York, the fighting cake-bakin' Italians of Cake Boss, Tori & Dean,  Top Chef, Top Chef Masters, the ladies of The View, the Dynamic Duo of Regis and Kelly, Nine by Design, Dad Camp, Tough Love Couples, Keeping Up With The Kardashians and Millionaire Matchmaker...At some point of my first day on the job, it hit me - I didn't miss all those TV personalities.

                                                  (Real Housewives of Orange County)

Job searching is really, R-E-A-L-L-Y an emotional rollercoaster. And, after you have applied to everything you can find...and you don't hear anything back, you get depressed. So you retreat to Oxygen and Bravo. It helps. You breathe easier. You feel braver. For real. Then, you get inspired. You do laundry. Or clean the bathroom. Then start the day all over again.

Thank GOODNESS, THAT life is behind me. For real. I'm sure I won't be stranger to Bravo and Oxygen. Those two channels provided me with a lot of emotional support during my season of unemployment. I'm thankful.

For my first day, it started off well. I had a good hair day. I had my outfit picked out...the NIGHT BEFORE. Thanks to Ben, Lady Antebellum escorted me to my first day.

It was such a good day.

Desperate Housewife

Not having a job will do strange, strange things to you. Especially, if you don't have a car. Especially, if your husband is gone all day (workin' for the bacon..workin' for the rent).

So, yesterday, I counted it an immense victory when I kept the TV off til 11am. I needed noise in between the looking for jobs, establishing profiles to post my resume and reading an e-book... Especially, if that noise comes in the form of Tyra Banks from America's Next Top Model or Patti from Millionaire Matchmaker. Apparently, I didn't need just any noise...I needed Bravo noise, especially.

But, when Ben FINALLY came home after a long day of pressure washing and then a painful evening of enjoying free tickets to the NBA playoff games, he came home to me. Which did not look like this:

(source)

It looked at lot like this (minus the police officer):

 (source)

Apparently, I don't do well being stuck in a house for over 15 hours with only Patti and Tyra to talk to me.

I'm Now A Housewife

I've had a job since I was 9 years old. Babysitting, office work,whatever, I've always been able to make my own money. The past couple of days, I've been home more than I've been in a long time. Years, even. Its been an adjustment. So, are you curious as to what I've done, lately? Let me tell you.

-Vacuumed (includes emptying that dust collector...why was I against vacuum cleaner bags, again?)
- Mopped
- Laundry (including handwashing pillowcases; 4 loads of laundry)
- Cleaning the bathroom (including cleaning the baseboards)
- Cleaning the kitchen (again and again and again...WHO keeps making this mess? Oh, wait. Me.)
- Cleaned all windows
- Updated my resume
- 12 billions episodes of various TV shows

Its crazy. Up to this week and because of our work schedules, Ben has done a lot of the cleaning. (Plus, he is OCD!) So, I will admit I had some difficulty in my new occupation -until I find a new job - as a housewife.
I've spent the days conversing with myself..."Where did Ben put that thing?" I had to search for the vacuum cleaner. Then, it was the "How do I work that dryer for maximum drying?"...

All I want to do now? Get a job. For real. I'm tired.  Not from the cleaning, oh no. From the SEARCHING for the cleaning items! When Ben comes home, he asks what I've done...I can't even remember because I'm reliving the scavenger hunt he has unknowingly put me through. Its been incredible. I'm finding the iron, the dryer sheets, the vacuum cleaner, the gazillion plastic grocery bags under the sink...

I've come to the conclusion that I've GOT to take up an in-house hobby. If nothing else for my sanity. For realz.