Friday, January 6, 2012

Coming Home

I cried a lot of tears when I was pregnant. Aside from the increased hormones, I spent a lot of time in agony at the thought that when our baby got here, I'd go back to work. I know some mothers have no choice, but to return to work. I know other mothers thrive on being able to work and come home to their babies. I respect those women a lot. But for me...before I had ever held our baby, I knew my heart was to stay with our baby.

For 9 months, Ben encouraged me to trust God with the desire of my heart. With the state of our finances. I wish I could say I did. But I didn't. I gave up. I cried. I made plan B. Plan B: Ben would watch our baby. It was plan B that I advertised to friends, family, and anyone who asked. And I smiled bravely about going back to work and leaving my baby.

The last 2 months, I've enjoyed Madden. Tremendously. I won't lie; being a parent is the hardest, most daunting, but overwhelmingly incredible role I've ever had. Each day, I spent all day, every moment with him. And I wondered: could I actually handle staying home ALL DAY? And at the same token: could I handle being away ALL DAY? I pushed the questions away and focused on the moment: the moments with Ben, the moments with Madden. I cherished them all.

 Ben began to realize that juggling school, work and taking care of Madden was too much. And amazingly, we looked over our finances and realized: I could stay home. I was afraid to let hope grow. But today, TODAY, I am happy to announce that I will be staying home to take care of our baby full-time. I am delighted. God is good.

I love this child.

I know I look tired, but I am not...I promise. :)



  2. It's the most wonderful thing!! I will probably have to go to work one day, but I am so thankful that I can be home NOW, when my babies are still babies!! Good luck with everything!!

  3. Praise the Lord! I am so happy for you! I went back to work for a few months (just at night) and it was so stressful. I was so excited when Nathan and I looked at our finances and realized that I could stay home too! You will have so much fun. You will always get to see him do things for the first time! Awesome!

  4. Awesome!! So glad for you!! God is SO GOOD to give us the desires of our hearts!!!


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