For 9 months, Ben encouraged me to trust God with the desire of my heart. With the state of our finances. I wish I could say I did. But I didn't. I gave up. I cried. I made plan B. Plan B: Ben would watch our baby. It was plan B that I advertised to friends, family, and anyone who asked. And I smiled bravely about going back to work and leaving my baby.
The last 2 months, I've enjoyed Madden. Tremendously. I won't lie; being a parent is the hardest, most daunting, but overwhelmingly incredible role I've ever had. Each day, I spent all day, every moment with him. And I wondered: could I actually handle staying home ALL DAY? And at the same token: could I handle being away ALL DAY? I pushed the questions away and focused on the moment: the moments with Ben, the moments with Madden. I cherished them all.
Ben began to realize that juggling school, work and taking care of Madden was too much. And amazingly, we looked over our finances and realized: I could stay home. I was afraid to let hope grow. But today, TODAY, I am happy to announce that I will be staying home to take care of our baby full-time. I am delighted. God is good.
|I love this child.|
|I know I look tired, but I am not...I promise. :)|