Snapshots of Our Life: Camera Phone

Introducing Madden to his first football.

Helping Dad work. (Oh, and do you see Miko peeking out too? That dog loves a good blanket to bury himself in.)

My little flirt. See that half-smile?

Early Morning Routine. Stare at the windows.

Morning Nap. We both fell asleep.

Madden is still napping away. So I sneak off to the shower, Ben comes in for baby monitoring duty.

Coming Home

I cried a lot of tears when I was pregnant. Aside from the increased hormones, I spent a lot of time in agony at the thought that when our baby got here, I'd go back to work. I know some mothers have no choice, but to return to work. I know other mothers thrive on being able to work and come home to their babies. I respect those women a lot. But for me...before I had ever held our baby, I knew my heart was to stay with our baby.

For 9 months, Ben encouraged me to trust God with the desire of my heart. With the state of our finances. I wish I could say I did. But I didn't. I gave up. I cried. I made plan B. Plan B: Ben would watch our baby. It was plan B that I advertised to friends, family, and anyone who asked. And I smiled bravely about going back to work and leaving my baby.

The last 2 months, I've enjoyed Madden. Tremendously. I won't lie; being a parent is the hardest, most daunting, but overwhelmingly incredible role I've ever had. Each day, I spent all day, every moment with him. And I wondered: could I actually handle staying home ALL DAY? And at the same token: could I handle being away ALL DAY? I pushed the questions away and focused on the moment: the moments with Ben, the moments with Madden. I cherished them all.

 Ben began to realize that juggling school, work and taking care of Madden was too much. And amazingly, we looked over our finances and realized: I could stay home. I was afraid to let hope grow. But today, TODAY, I am happy to announce that I will be staying home to take care of our baby full-time. I am delighted. God is good.

I love this child.

I know I look tired, but I am not...I promise. :)

Christmas 2011 Report

We spent our first Christmas with Madden enjoying the day. Simply enjoying every single moment.

We woke up late - a luxury we didn't take for granted...this is probably the LAST Christmas we will get to sleep in!

I watched Ben grin like a fool showing Madden the half-eaten cookies left by Santa. 

Madden fell asleep after the 1st toy was opened.

We munched on cinnamon rolls and sausage (breakfast) meatballs the entire day.

We cleaned up puke from overly-excited dogs - a result of their Christmas treats.

We watched basketball.

Ben and I exchanged gifts...this year we tied on who gave who the best gifts. Because you know this is an ANNUAL Competition.

Honestly, I've always heard Christmas is more fun when you become a parent, and IT IS SO TRUE!

His Christmas Outfit.

Date Night: Post Baby

When the third Twilight Movie came out, I really wanted to watch it. Badly. But when the movie came out, I had a two week old baby.

So, Ben and I tried to arrange friends and family to come watch the little one so we could head to the movies. Sickness, holidays and more kept putting a rain-check for that plan.

Until Ben had a brilliant idea. Drive-In Movie Theater. So our first date night took place. We packed up the baby, grabbed some fast food, picked up our favorite movie candy and away we went! It was perfect. We could talk through the movie, take care of the baby AAAANNNDDD we got to watch the movie. Finally.

Throughout the movie, Ben would look at me and say, "Whose idea was this? Who suggested a drive-in movie theater?" 

I am looking forward to our next date night.

Me and Sports

Part of marrying Ben was my accepting what his die-hard love of sports. Specifically, his love for the Atlanta Falcons and the LA Lakers.

The first season I experienced with Ben was...a learning experience for me. One of tolerance. I tolerated his love of sports because I wanted to be with him. I went to the games with him. He even let me bring a book with me.

The second season I experienced with him...I tried to be a little more engaging. I left the book at home when we went to games. I wore the t-shirt. I sat in the living room while he watched the game. I bought him the Madden NFL football video game.

This season, I couldn't go to the games. I was huge and uncomfortable at 6 months pregnant and Ben and I both knew it would be a miserable experience...for both of us. But I followed the game on ESPN to gage Ben's reaction. When the games are away, I watch the games with him. Lately, though, I decided to buy in completely. I want not to just tolerate this aspect of my husband's life, but I want to embrace it. So I watch ESPN talk shows with him. I listen - truly listen- to Ben explain plays to me. I follow sport analysts on twitter. What brought about this change? I don't know. Probably more to do with the fact that I cherish spending time with Ben and this is a great way for me to show him how much I love him.

Which is a good thing, of course. But it is always made better when he quizzes me for players' names from different teams and I rattle them off. And Ben's look of surprise and pride is worth it all.

We became three

Last week, Ben and I became +1. We became three. This first week, we adjusted to sleep deprivation. We discovered we would survive without help. We discovered we could do this thing called parenthood. Most of all, We stared in wonder at this tiny one...amazed that he is ours.

This week, we have remained astonished by the amount of diapers we've gone through.

The long hours we now keep at night.

We worry. We have learned to be flexible.

More than anything, we have stared in wonder at this tiny one...amazed that he is ours.

We've called the doctor out of concern.

We've sang silly songs. We've read books. We have enjoyed the reality of parenthood.

We have continually stared in wonder at this tiny one...absolutely amazed that he is ours.

Baby A Update: Pregnancy concludes

My last blog post regarding waiting for Madden was week 37. Technically, I posted that at the BEGINNING of my 38th week...I was running behind and figured it was best to post something, rather than nothing.

The last couple of weeks (last week and this week, in particular), have been a whirlwind. To be honest with you, I'm not ready to share everything quite yet. But, I can summarize:

- This pregnancy has been all about teaching this insane planner to be truly flexible.
- I have learned the importance of giving myself GRACE. Grace to know that while I am my Mother's daughter, I am not under any obligation to do it "her" way.
- At the end of the day, pregnancy presents decisions that must be made and the only ones who can make the best decisions are (for instance) Ben and I.

- Our baby is here! Ben and I are amazed that this child is a product of both of us; and we are enjoying every moment with him.
- All my specific prayer requests were answered concerning the birth and delivery of our son.
- satisfaction over how the entire event (labor and delivery) went.
- It has only been mere days since our son's birth, but I have enjoyed the impact of a deeper partnership in our marriage.
- Watching Ben as a dad. It is heart-melting.
- Infant smiles and facial expressions.

Baby-Moon

Ben and I spent Labor Day weekend in Destin, FL. We wanted a pre-baby trip to take place before I got too big and before the baby got here too...(okay, okay, I'm already HUGE, but you hopefully understand what I'm saying!)

The night before we left, I told Ben that I had been watching the weather on weather.com which told me that a little thing called a HURRICANE was heading toward Destin, FL the same weekend as us. Ben's reply: "Honey, there is a ONE PERCENT chance that it will actually rain while we are at the beach." 

Well, it actually turned out to be ONE HUNDRED PERCENT rain THE ENTIRE TIME WE WERE THERE.

Aside of the rain, here are some highlights of the weekend:

Restuarants:

Another Broken Egg Cafe: We had breakfast on the first day here. The food was good and plentiful, but we did get our card declined...only because the waitress ran our debit card 9 times! We thankfully caught the mistake, but it was still a little disturbing and definitely overshadowed our experience. 

Acme Oyster House: They serve a specialty called "char-grilled oysters"; apparently Ben had them 5 years prior and has been dreaming of them ever since. Honestly, they were so good. But so unique too.

Fudpuckers: You definitely go there more for the experience, than the food. They have a TON of baby alligators that you can feed and hold. I passed on that experience; instead, Ben and I spent our conversation discussing all the signatures and messages of past patrons. The classic ones were "Lucy loves Joe" or "Erica and Jon 4ever"....which led to the great question: how awkward would it be if Lucy and Joe or Erica and Jon are no longer together, but they go BACK with their new significant others and those new significant others see their little message???

Hammerheads/Poppy Seafood Factory: We spent our last night dining at this place. We sat outdoors, under a pavilion listening to the live music and watching the rain fall. The food was good; Ben kept calling the food "REAL seafood".

And the rain kept pouring...Of course, I continued to ask Ben about that ONE PERCENT chance. 

Instead of going to the beach, we did the following:

- We got pedicures. Both Ben and I. Honestly, pedicures are one of my favorite things EVER. And, it is so much fun to get a pedicure WITH Ben.

- We spent a considerable amount of time at Barnes and Nobles. I bought a book.

- We slept. A lot. It was blissful.

We did venture to the beach - the few times it wasn't raining - to watch the waves. It was incredible to see how forceful and strong the waves were.

In the end, perhaps it wasn't the most ideal vacation. It rained. And rained. And rained. But, we did have a lot of fun. We enjoyed the slower pace and the forced-ability to rest and relax. Overall, it was wonderful.

PS - Am I the only one to recently hear the term "baby-moon"? I found it hysterical and I have been looking for opportunities to use it.

Being Thankful...for pregnancy

My mom LOVED being pregnant. Loved it. So when I ran into my Mom's friends last week, they all kept comparing me to her. The truth is that while I am my mother's daughter, I don't love being pregnant like my mom.

In light of that, I have been spending a lot time recently thinking about what makes me thankful while pregnant.

Here is my list:

1. Pre-natal vitamins. I love those little gummies overflowing with goodness. And, they are sooo good for my hair!

2. Feeling my baby move. Absolutely magical.

3. No morning sickness. I'm so grateful this has not been a part of my pregnancy.

4. Healthy baby. So refreshing to know this baby is healthy.

5. Swollen feet. My only "problem" but it means I'm active.

6. Ben. It is wonderful to know that my husband still finds his preggo wife attractive (even when I don't).

7. (approximate) due date. The countdown to single digits is SO VERY CLOSE.

8. I'm excited to meet this child...whose existence was created out of love. That is beautiful.

9. Embarking on the journey of parenthood...with Ben. I am so excited that sharing life with Ben means we this responsibility, joy, and more of parenthood together.

10. Grandparents. I love watching my dad touch my belly to talk to his grandson.

11. Looking forward to being a mom. I am looking forward to replacing midnight bathroom runs with midnight baby duties.

Remembering

This weekend, we celebrated my sister's marriage to the love of her life, Adam. It was a beautiful ceremony. Full of tears, laughs and a couple so in love.

During the weekend, I heard comments about how fast Lydia and Adam's relationship went (they met, dated, got engaged in a year). Then someone asked me if I could believe Ben and I have almost been married for 2 years. Jokingly, I said, "Yes!" In actuality, it really is a mixture of emotions - on one hand it does seem possible, on another hand it seems impossible. Probably because Ben and I have weathered a lot together during these two years. We've fought. We've struggled financially. We've grown. We've cried. We laughed...a lot. We've apologized. We've learned to be more compassionated - towards each other and other people too. We aren't perfect.

In watching Lydia and Adam get married this weekend, I was reminded by how much better my life is because I'm married to Ben. Im sure that Adam and Lydia quickly discover the sweetness of marriage is each other...and how much better it gets with each passing day. Literally. Regardless of what life throws at them (us).

Baby A Update: Week 22 & 23

Week 22:

- Feet swelling. This lovely addition to my pregnancy that I really do have to take it easy. And, that is not easy for me at all! I love to do a lot - hang out, go do new things, etc. While I am still enjoying an active life, I also have become keenly aware that my body begins to scream when enough is enough.

- My sister gave me this custom-made piece of art for Madden's room.

Life of Mars

- After reading my pregnancy book, I grew fearful of constipation. (too much information?) So, I've been chewing away at homemade wheat bread and multi-grain cereal.


Week 23:

- We went shopping for clothes for Madden. One of my goals is to buy clothes for him NOW for next summer. I got this tip from my cousin Crystal who encouraged me to buy clothes ahead of time because it saves money in the end. I have definitely taken this advice seriously and I am becoming so thankful for Crystal's insight and advice. Plus, Ben and I have had a lot of fun buying 6-9 months clothes or 6-12 month clothes.

- Madden gets the hiccups. I am still cracking up feeling and watching him with his hiccups. It is hysterical to me.

- I bought Madden's diaper bag. I have been searching high and low for a fun diaper bag. I originally picked out this awesome Retro bag.

Source: Fudge Banana Swirl

But, Ben vetoed it when he saw the price. So, I continued my search and was able to get a custom-made one!

Two Little Monkeys Shop

Are you surprised I didn't go with owls? Well, I did look for an owl diaper bag, but in the end, it was the dinosaurs that just captured my attention. I also wanted something that Madden could grow into. And, for as much as I love owls, I think he could quickly out-grow owls.

- I feel like my belly is bulging. Which is why my week 22 preggo picture will never surface. I feel like a whale.

Just Ben and I

(It's been a while since I've just talked about Ben and I...so here is an update!)

We started this year out with one thought in mind: simplify. We wanted to simplify our life.

We were busy. Too busy. Four jobs between us, two dogs, opposite schedules, coming and going and passing each other every day of the week. And weekends were a foreign concept because we had never had full and consistent weekends together.

So we simplified. In April, our schedules merged to be more similar. Jobs dwindled down, and instead of passing each other, we actually get to spend quality time together.

The result has been...incredible. Really. We have more time to do fun things together. We aren't rushing. We get to rest and rejuvenate together. The impact on our marriage has been amazing. We don't argue as much...and I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that we aren't competing against life for each other.

In the last couple of months, we've taken a mini-trip, planted a garden, gone swimming  (a LOT), spent a lot of time with friends, laughed, gone to the movies, tried out fun restaurants...and overall, we have had great conversation.

Being married to Ben makes my life sweeter, fuller and overflowing with laughs.

Baby A Update: Week 19

This week could not have gotten here any faster!

Monday: We made cake balls. If you haven't tried them, you need to go to Bakerella and learn all about them!

Tuesday: We continued the working on the cake balls.

Wednesday: Our small group made bets on whether we were having a boy or a girl. The majority said girl, while Ben and one couple said boy. I did not participate - it was more fun watching the entire event! After our small group left, Ben watched me have a meltdown over the cake balls and then, he saved the day.

Thursday: the day we had been waiting for! We almost didn't get the ultrasound because the doctor said their doctor's office air conditioning was out....I was going to go along with the decision to wait a week, but Ben nicely objected and the doctor agreed to go ahead and give the ultrasound.

We are very excited to announce Baby A is a: BOY!
My favorite part of finding out what we were having was watching Ben throw a fist pump and say, "It's time to go buy a baseball glove!"

When we announced it to our family, we gave out our little treats we had been working so hard on:

Owl Cake Ball with a blue bowtie!

A lot of people have asked if we have a name picked out. In fact, within 30 minutes of us finding out we were having a boy, Ben asked me if I would continue to call our Baby A on the blog, or just announce the name? Well, I can't guarantee I won't continue to call him Baby A, but I might as well  announce the name: Madden Gideon.

Now, we can begin the countdown for the maternity pictures!

Baby A Update: Week 17 and 18

Week 17 and 18 have been a blur, really. I'm sure that has something to do with the countdown for "Discover-Baby-A's-Gender-Day". We are just a tad bit excited.

For Week 17 and 18, we did several fun things:

- Ben painted the baby room. I'm not going to talk too much about this because I plan to do a bigger post about decorating the nursery later. But, I will say the color is better than I ever could have imagined.

- We were asked: Is the heartbeat fast or slow? Apparently, you can tell the sex of the baby if you can tell whether it is fast or slow. We have noticed. We just like to hear the heartbeat. I will say that I think these wives' tales are hilarious. I think this is the third or fourth one I've been told so far and I can't wait to see if they are all right or wrong!

- A mild case of acid reflux has set in. It isn't too bad, which I'm thankful for, but it is definitely enough to notice it.

- The tears. Oh, the tears. I cry about the most random stuff. I thought the waterworks were suppose to happen in the 1st trimester? I guess not. Either way, there is nothing like crying over Man vs. Food.

- The change in my body. Most days, I just feel like I'm all stomach. Other days, I notice my feet swelling, my fingers swelling and in general, I feel blah.

- The controversy.  I've become acutely aware of the controversy surrounding: breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding, cloth diapers vs. disposable diapers, all-natural birth vs. epidurals, stay-at-home mom vs. working mom, finding out the baby's gender or not finding out, etc. As these subjects come up, I have been reminded over and over again that these decisions are intensely personal. And, that really there are no right and wrong decisions because they are so very personal and must work for the individual family. In thinking of the personal decisions, I have also become aware of how others can take your decision(s) as judgmental or criticize you for not selecting the "right" decision. This is has become one (large) way pregnancy has become extremely uncomfortable and at times, hurtful for me.

- Feeling Baby A move around. This is so fascinating to me. It is strange to feel life moving inside of me, but it is so fun too. Ben is able to feel it more and more,  which has been extra fun. The only downside, is that quite OFTEN, Baby A starts to squirm around at 11pm. This is NOT GOOD NEWS. Sure, I'm doing the nursery in owls, but that was absolutely NOT an invitation for Baby A to become a night owl!

- Ben has been practicing how to properly hold a newborn baby. Thankfully, Miko is the perfect candidate to practice!! Ben is doing a great job, and I think he will have no problems at all when Baby A gets here.

- A special note for Baby A:  It is really hard for us to believe you will be here in about 4.5 months. We are excited, but nervous too. While you will come to us as a tiny baby, the responsibility for you is huge. We don't take this lightly. Continue your little growing!

Outdoor Inspiration

Now that Ben and I have a real front porch and an actual backyard, I have been dreaming and drooling over outdoor furniture.

For the front porch, I was dreaming up these pretties:

Thank you, Google Images

Of course, I'd want red. One, because I am obsessed with that color. And, two, to pay homage to Ben's favorite NFL team, the Atlanta Falcons (who may or may not be playing this year, but that is another blog post).

For the backyard area, I was thinking of something like this:

Thank you, Google Images

My Grandmother had one of these at her house, and any time I see one, I think of her.

But then, I found this post on my newest favorite blog. Now, I'm dreaming about wooden pallets and tarps. Never mind the fact that I don't have a clue how I'll get it in my car, I want to make an outdoor lounging area SO much!

Baby A Update: Weeks 13 & 14

Week 13:

- I celebrated Mother's Day for the first time in 5 years.
- Ben suprised me with a 1 hour massage and tickets to see Bruno Mars in concert.
- My friend Stephanie sent me the best card reminding me that she hadn't forgotten how hard Mother's Day has been. It reminded me of all those Mother's Days I spent with her in college, and it made me so thankful for her friendship (again).
- I consumed a jar of pickles in a week. It was wonderful.
- I wore my only maternity outfit. It's basically a maxi-dress made out of jersey cotton. I don't care. It is comfortable and it fits.

Week 14:

- I bought several items for Baby A's nursery. Ben and I contemplated what color to paint the nursery (I vote gray - regardless of Baby A's gender).
- We left the Bruno Mars concert before the first song finished. The music was too loud and I was terrified of it negatively affecting Baby A. Then, I cried the rest of the evening. 1) Knowing I had made the right decision. 2) Having a hard time coming up with fun things to do while pregnant (that don't involve shopping or eating)....suggestions are welcome.
- My baby bump arrived. Thank you, Baby A, for deciding not to truly show yourself 'til after we were out of the 1st trimester. Your mother thanks you.
- Ben waking me up in the middle of the night as he pulled me closer to him, then having him place his hand on my stomach. At 3am, Baby A, he was trying to feel you move. Grow big; your dad wants to feel and see you wiggle inside my tummy.
- Just so you know, Baby A, a lot of people have made a couple of the following remarks:
   - "Maybe Ben will grow up now that he is about to be a Dad."    I love that Ben is goofy and so entertaining. I am sure this will be a trait you also will love about your dad. And, I'm sure will inherit his silliness too. It will make for a lot of funny and silly memories.
- "Get all the sleep you can now."    This is also an inaccurate statement. I am already LOSING sleep because my pregnant body. I see this as preparation for the future when Baby A is finally here.
- "You will have to get rid of the dogs."    I want you to grow up around animals. I think this is so important for you, Baby A, to learn how to be gentle and love our furry friends. So, unless you are deathly allergic to them, or they show signs of aggression towards you...Milo and Miko will be apart of your life.

Lastly, this is FOR YOU, my readers. I want your votes: What do you think Baby A is? A boy or a girl? Leave your comments in the comment box. We find out in a couple of weeks, but I want to be able to include your input in the baby scrapbook I plan to make. If you are "anonymous", put your name in the comment box so I know!

News Flash: We Moved

I am THRILLED to announce we MOVED! And, it is only fitting that I announce it here as my blog has seen Ben and I go from RV living to Apartment living to now a little home! So, we moved and it all took place a week ago, actually. It all started when we realized that with two dogs, Ben and I...we had no room for Baby A. Thanks to Ben's incredible ability to make things happen, the move took place quickly.

 

Milo & Miko

Ben and me.

This move has brought a lot of anticipation. And, boy, oh, boy, am I excited! Because you KNOW what that means?!?!?! Let the DECORATING BEGIN! *happy sigh*  We moved into this adorable space:

I have already made so many plans...allow me the SHEER pleasure to explain what is up my sleeve. Let's start with the stairwell. Because my art collection has grown (quickly), the amount of windows in the living room and dining room will limit where I put things. Or so I thought until I saw this post by Young House Love:


For the laundry room, I'm drooling over this:

To get this beauty: go here.

I am planning to make my own shower curtain using this AWESOME fabric -

Ikea: ANNAMOA Fabric

There are a couple of things I want to finish before I give you the grand tour - but that will be coming! So, stay tuned.

Baby A - Week 9

This week, I have a lot to discuss. Oh my, I hope you are ready!

My Baby's Daddy: Ben has been incredible. I mean, he is always wonderful, but he has taken his wonderfulness to a whole new level. This week alone he has - cleaned the house, washed dishes, cleaned up dog poop, did all the laundry, arranged for our move (details to come soon!), cleaned up more poop, and has put up with my exhaustion, panic, and more. He has been splendid.

Maternity Clothes: I'll admit it. I'm not liking what I've seen so far. So, it is distressing for me to realize that mass maternity clothing arena is trying to force the whole "mom-look" on me. I'm not buying it. At all. Literally and figuratively. Needless to say, when Cindy takes me shopping...I hope she is prepared for the bundle of emotions called her grandchild's mom.

The absence of my Mom: I could write an entire blog about this, but I'm not. Let it suffice to say that I miss my Mom's insight like crazy, but that my dad has been wonderful in answering all my genetic questions and a great group of friends (Jamie, Lisa, in particular) have been wonderful support in making me feel more normal.

I get paranoid. In the middle of my excitement, my processing, my planning, I get paranoid. I get paranoid of what I'm eating - will I birth a "15 pound baby" due to my diet? (That is not a comforting thought). I get paranoid about a lot of things. But, I'm learning to take things one day at a time. And, that is difficult for me. The daily, YES DAILY, change of my body and smells and cravings and more leave me stressed out. But, I'm learning to relax.

Thank you all so much for your encouragement and just all around incredible comments! My energy is lacking - hence the silence, but I miss you all a lot, readers, so I'm trying to make a come-back. Plus, we have a ton to discuss too! Stay tuned!

My Husband

A husband brings about many changes. Many.

For instance, if you had told me that I would be watching ESPN while waiting for my favorite show to come on…I would have LAUGHED at you. Scoffed, really. (To be fair, it’s really ONLY background noise…I promise.)

Or, that yesterday, I caught myself picking around onions while wondering why in the world I was doing such a thing. Ben! He hates onions. (In all honesty, it was the green onion stalks. And, they looked like grass…at least that is the story I’m sticking with.)

And, that I’m suddenly SO gangsta. Straight up. Fo’real. I gots more skillz than a pankcake flipper. (which, is a lot of skills, I am convinced.)

Yep, a husband definitely has made me a better person.

It's Been A Year.

It started off crazy.

Ben woke up with news that our flight had been canceled. A blizzard was the cause of the cancellation of our honeymoon flight. He spent the hours leading up to our wedding ceremony re-planning our honeymoon. From scratch.

Our wedding ceremony might have seemed more like an elopement watched by our closest friends and dear family. 12 minutes tops. It was hysterical. If you were 15 minutes late, you missed it.

We got married after knowing each other for 7 months. 

Wedding Day 2009. Tupelo Photography

Regardless of the hysterical mishaps...it has been a year. Ben and I celebrate our ONE YEAR anniversary today. It doesn't seem possible. A year.

A year later: 2010. Mars Studio

It's been a crazy year. But, we have loved every moment. We've laughed. We've cried. We've fought. We've forgave. We've made a lot of funny memories. We've made memories. We've grown. We've weathered change of jobs, change of our home place. We've accomplished goals...we've achieved dreams. But the best? We've done it together. As husband and wife.

I love being Ben's wife. There is absolutely nothing like waking up in the middle of the night to feel Ben pull me close...to hear his panic when I yelp in the kitchen because of all the times I "almost" cut myself...No one else can make me laugh at silly jokes like Ben...No one else make my heart feel like it is going to explode because it is overwhelmed by love. Simply said, I love him.

It's been a great 1st year! I'm excited to see what this next year brings with Ben.