I love to laugh. It doesn't take much for me to be doubled-over-hand over my mouth-tears pouring down my face-laughing. A lot of the reason I write this blog...is to laugh. At me, with me. To capture those memories in the hysterical way possible.
But, while I love to laugh. I also love to give credit where credit is due. In this case, I need to give God some praise. While I may not talk about my relationship with God a lot, that doesn't mean it isn't important. On the contrary! God tends to teach me things in incredible ways...and I'd like to brag on His goodness.
As you all know, my days of unemployment spanned over 7-8 weeks. Basically, two months of living off Ben's income. While Ben is a very hard worker, he is also in school. So, he only works part-time. Do you get an idea of our situation? Two people, one income (part-time) and an entire host of bills. Seems impossible, right? Believe me, Ben and I both had panic moments.(Thankfully, NOT at the same time!!)
Over a time span of TWO months of my search for a job, the bills continued to come (isn't it incredible, that bills are SOOOO consistent?!?!). And over those two months, we didn't miss a payment. At all. Literally, God provided in amazing ways. Every single time we would see the end of the tunnel, we'd have the same conversation. For example, "If Bethany doesn't get a job by this point, we aren't sure what will happen". Those are scary conversations to have when you literally don't know how you will buy groceries or pay rent. But God just stepped in. Our tax return - which was delayed for over 6 weeks (prior to losing my job) - came the first month of unemployment. Then, over the total of the 2 months, God just continued to provide - with anonymous, large, monetary gifts. Whoever sent these gifts were also sensitive to our young marriage (remember, we haven't been married over 6 months yet) ....allowing us go on dates and spend time with just the two of us, without worrying about how we will pay for the next pending bill.
Ben and I both feel like we can't take credit for the last two months. How can we? What happened during this season was beyond our control - in every single regard. But we definitely CAN give God glory for providing for us in amazing and timely ways. It isn't about what we DID to change our situation - it certainly isn't glamorous to be on your knees; feeling the tension and pressure of the unknown well up inside of you; looking at your spouse and wondering: What next? We simply did the only thing we knew to do - place our trust in God. Ask Him to take care of us in ways that we couldn't. Depend on Him to provide. This seems so seamless, right? It was scary! I'm a control freak. Ben is a control freak. We like to be in control of our situation! (Who doesn't?!?!) How can I taken even a smidgen of credit? I mean, given a choice - I definitely would have kept my job. It was comfortable. I didn't have to worry about anything. But the worse thing of it all - I didn't have to rely on God either. Which, is an even more dangerous spot to be.
So every time there was an "extra" bill to pay (tires for the car, a second vehicle, etc., etc.), we saw our faith and trust in God increase. And every time there was just a regular bill to pay, we saw our faith increase too. Instead of the original response when this all first occurred ("WHAT DO WE DO NOW?!?!?"), our responses literally evolved as our faith, trust and dependence in God grew ("God will provide.").
Believe me, when its all said and done saying God will provide. Is a ton more comforting than WHAT DO WE DO?!?!?!? Why? Because He does, has and will continue to provide.