I'm being brave. I know my mother-in-law reads my blog. (Hi Cindy!)
I will be honest. I really struggled with the concept of Mother-in-law. Right after I lost my mom, I worked really hard to separate myself from any women close to my Mom's age. It was too difficult. Too painful. Too many memories. Too many "What Ifs".
Ben's Mom is so sweet. Everyone loves her. She loves and gives and helps so many people. She is generous with her time. To everyone around her. Our relationship in the first months of our (Ben and I's) relationship was rocky. In my opinion, my relationship with Cindy was rocky, mostly because of ME: my fears, my baggage, my issues. To be fair, a lot of my crazy, sporadic wedding planning dreams evolved into reality because of Cindy. She took on that wedding not as if it was her son getting married, but as if it was her own daughter getting married. I was very lucky. But, my fear continued to hold me back.
Over the last couple of months, I've changed. I think it was nothing short of giving myself permission. Permission to relax and establish a relationship with the woman who has seen Ben at his worst and lowest points; who raised two crazy boys by herself; a woman I am learning a lot about life from.
She makes me laugh. She makes me feel loved. She has given me survival tips for how to live to tell about Ben's "depression" if his team suffers a loss. She makes me feel like an equal. And, I'm learning how to trust.
But, more importantly, I am happy, thrilled even, to call Cindy my friend.